Jesus Makes Men New

Him: So I shared a few weeks back about a high school friend of mine who was soon to release a book titled Date Your Wife. Well the book is out and making a bit of a splash. I spotted an excerpt from it this morning on the Resurgence blog site 

Men, take responsibility and respond to the gospel. Ladies, enjoy as God’s grace transforms your husbands and your marriage.

Manhood: Date Your Wife

Him: I wanted to share something with all the men out there (whether you’re looking for it or not) and with all the wives (because, chances are you’ve been looking for it since you left the altar) and that is, the importance of the investment you make in her. There was most definitely a time that you put in the effort, you treated her like a prize to be won, you provided her the security to be free in herself and then you married her. If you’re like many, that’s where most of the effort stopped- maybe because you didn’t know what to do next, or life got more and more complicated with family and career growth.

No matter the reason, your wife needs you and you need to watch this:

Date Your Wife releases next month. For more from the author, Justin Buzzard, visit www.justinbuzzard.net 

Manhood: Plug In

Him: So in all my busyness lately I’ve realized that although I’m present in body my mind is many times elsewhere. This is never more true, and perhaps more damaging, than when I’m with my family. There are so many stressors in my everyday life – work, finances, projects, vacation planning, this blog – that it can be difficult to enjoy the very reason that I put up with all these: to enjoy time with my family.
Rather than reinvent the wheel, I wanted to share something I recently came across at thankgoditsmonday.com

Showing Up
Ellen Galinsky, author of Ask the Children— What America’s Children Really Think About Working Parents, asked children what they would change about how their parents’ work affects their lives.
She also asked the parents what they thought their kids would say. Fifty percent of parents predicted that the child’s top choice would be to have more time together.
Guess again.
In fact, only 10-15 percent of kids said they would like more time with their parents. Contrast this with the 34 percent of kids who said what they want most is for their parents to be less stressed. Only 2 percent of parents guessed that this would be their child’s highest priority.
It’s not more of our time that our kids want but rather our vivaciousness—to be fully alive and enthusiastic wherever we are at any moment.
So do you fully show up wherever you are—or are you quasi-committed? Sometimes we have good intentions but just never get there.
Are you the kind of parent who talks about balance and blames your employer for pulling you away from your kids, yet has the television on while you’re with them?
Splitting your attention two or three or five ways all the time is the surest way to cheat each and every one of those parts of your life. Balance means living fully wherever you are—being fully present to your friends when with your friends, with your kids when with your kids, with your spouse when with your spouse, and at work when you’re at work.
If you’re thinking about your bowling league during the budget meeting, your numbers might be off. If you’re trying to figure out your fantasy league draft picks while you’re playing catch with your son, you might take one on the kisser—AND draft a third-rate running back. And that would be called justice.
Some of the best parents work fifty hours a week or more and are amazingly connected with their children in extremely functional ways. Some of the worst parents are stay-at-home mothers or fathers who watch television all day—know every soap opera, sleep through most of the day, and yell when their kids interrupt by asking a question.
Resolve today to make a commitment to be where you’re at, one hundred percent. When you’re at work, be productive in knowing exactly what the company objectives are.
Balance is about fully showing up wherever you are and deciding to enjoy being there. And that, like everything else in life, starts with a decision and continues with practice.

The Emmerich Group® • 8050 Washington Ave. S., Suite 100, Eden Prairie, MN

Manhood: Although Not Because

Him: There are many things in this world that I enjoy and some of those things I can even say that I love. I love them all for different reasons- the power of a fast car, the adrenaline of riding single track, the smell of my well worn baseball mitt. I love these because of an intrinsic value that each possess. Take away the power, adrenaline and smell and the car is just ordinary, the ride becomes boring and the mitt is just used up old sporting equipment. 

This is how, or maybe I should say why, we love most things- because. I love my wife this way. I love her because she’s so great to me, my best friend (and has been for 16 years), a terrific mother, beautiful, patient, caring... I could go on. But if all I do is love her because, what happens when she’s not so great to me, when her beauty fades, when she’s impatient? I’ll still love her, but I’ll love her although- although she doesn’t feel like my best friend, although she makes mistakes as a wife and mother, although she’s imperfect.

You see, most of the time my wife is great but there are times when she’s not. And I’ve made a commitment to her; you know the one- to love and to cherish, richer, poorer... till death parts us. So I choose to love her not because she cares for me but although in her moments of pain, weakness, misunderstanding, anger, frustration, you name it, I’m committed to her. She and I are one- two halves of a whole- a team.

Being loved although takes the pressure off to live up to expectations all the time. We’re all human and we’ll all make mistakes. Imagine the freedom you’d feel if you knew that no matter how you fail, you would still be loved. This is the freedom we are able to experience through Christ because of what He’s done for us. My goal is that, following His example, my wife and girls will experience this from me. Each day I wake up and strive to make a choice to love them although not because.

Manhood: Introduction

Him:  Our culture has had a large influence on the role that men are perceived to be required to play. We are the bread-winners; we don't take care of the home. We do the yard work (maybe); we don't do the dishes. We take the kids to their practices or games; we don't help them with their school work or get involved with shaping who they become. Our domain is the TV room and the garage; the rest of the house is our wife's responsibility.

All these and more are lies that we've allowed to become reality. Manhood is much more than compartmentalizing what we prefer to be involved in. I'm going to attempt to dive deeper into this in the coming weeks and offer some practical tips for being the man you were intended to be. See the post below for more on leading your family.

Manhood: Be the Leader of Your Team

Him:  I spent a lot of time while growing up competing in various sports. I participated in numerous tournaments and post seasons gathering several championship titles and even garnering a handful of personal awards. I came to understand the meaning of team very well- camaraderie, goal setting, communication, decision making, conflict, problem solving, hard work and sacrifice. When one member failed the others had to be there to pick up the slack. When the team struggled and lost its rhythm a leader had to dig deep and find it. The leader put his team before himself and did whatever it took, dragging himself and everyone with him if needed, to accomplish the goal at hand.

(Photo by Trisha Lawson Photography)

As a husband and father I'm on another team now and I'm its leader. When my wife or any of our five girls are hurting or in need my role is to lead them through it and they've come to count on me for this. Men, this is true for each of you. It's often easy for us to think that our responsibilities start and stop with providing for our families monetarily- a roof over their heads and food on the table. We trudge through the nine to five and return home exhausted day after day with the couch on our minds- or maybe it's the golf course, the gym, you name it. Paul tells us in Ephesians 5 that we are to give ourselves up for our wives just as Christ did for the church. Our marriages should mirror the gospel message. Now tell me when the last time was that you put aside your TV time or hobby for her, much less chose to be crucified.


This week make it your goal to lighten her load. Pick a task that is normally on her plate and make it your own. Forgo hitting your favorite chair when you get home and join her in the kitchen. Ask her what her goals are for the week and work with her to accomplish them. Play with your kids. Do more than suffer through the painful stories that seem to take an eternity for them to spit out- engage them. This is your team now and you are their leader. If they fail to perform to their potential, find out why, pick them up, give them the tools to succeed.

All those trophies, medals, awards from my past…they're in a box somewhere in the garage. But what I learned along the way is transferable to the role I'm in now. My family's here to stay and our goal is a much larger prize- eternity.