Having a Grrrrrrrr Moment

Her: Tonight my lovely, amazing, patient husband drove our four oldest children to a movie playing at the local park.  He very sweetly allowed me to keep the baby home so I didn't have to freeze to death while entertaining a 1 1/2 year old and watching a movie for the second time that I hated the first time. Yay me!  

Best of all my little munchkin and I were about to have alone time, yippy!  She was not so thrilled to see all her big sisters drive away in the car but I quickly bribed her with a malt ball and her fussing ceased. We ventured out to lock up the chickens when she said “chicken” for the first time.  Adorable.

Now for book time.  So I am not good at reading to my kids.  Ok terrible.  Homeschooling has helped a little but pretty much if you want a book read around the Tucker house you’re gonna have to read it to yourself.  I hate that I don’t do it.  It makes me feel like a mommy failure.  So tonight was a night to read to my munchkin.  I was so excited.  I was going to erase my mommy failures and start fresh.  One on one, looking at every picture, reading the story over and over, here we go!

I got the first book out, put the baby on my lap, and then it happened.  She began to violently rip the book from my hand screaming as I resisted.  She pulled with superhuman strength, too.  Like it was the last morsel of food on the entire planet and she was starving to death.  “Well this is not going as well as expected”, I thought.  I gave her the book and encouraged her to open it herself.  She slammed it shut screaming “No”. Well actually, “MMmmmoooooo”.  She doesn’t quite have her “n” sound down yet.  I set the book aside trying to reason with her.  As I gave my “be kind to mommy” speech her screams grew louder and louder. She began trashing her body around which culminated into the most explosive kiddy headbutt I’ve ever received.  Awesome.

And just like that book time was over.  I took my screaming, writhing child to her crib and put her to bed.  No mommy failure recovery today.  Me and my swollen forehead are going to bed.

Monday . . . it's here again.

Her: Another Monday begins . . . whiny baby, demanding three year old and no milk for cereal.  Not even a tiny little drop for my coffee.  Laundry is piling up even though I tackled it all weekend and I’ve got a major camping trip to pack and grocery shop for. Even as I type this sentence I have a baby wanting up on the bed, a 7 year old waiting to tattle on her sister and a 6 year old that I’m not quite sure what she wants yet. . . 

Ok, I’m back. Many times I walk my house in the morning and repeat the words, “don’t panic” over and over again in my head.  Sometimes I hide in my room for an extra 30 minutes in the morning hoping everything will be done before I get out there (Yeah, right!)  Other days I come out like a whirlwind demanding that everyone obey and clean, NOW! Neither of which are really successful for anyone.  

As mommies our responsibilities are endless, our days are short, and the little people that we are doing the work for are not exactly cooperative.  More like tornadoes to say the least. And yet the days come over and over whether we like it or not. And the more we procrastinate the more it piles but tackling the monotony of responsibility is sometimes just as bad as ignoring it. 

But, guess what? Yet again, there is hope in the truth of the word.  Yesterday we heard an amazing sermon at church on God’s gifts to us in Romans 5:1-11 one of which is joy.  Joy only found in the Lord. I felt like God was encouraging me to walk with Him – trusting Him with my life, to walk in Him –trusting His holy spirit to guide me, and to walk for Him – for His glory.

Through that vantage point laundry, cleaning, or getting anything done really is secondary to our true purpose which is God and our relationship with Him.  I will leave you with the following scripture to encourage you as you start your week:

“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.”

Colossians 3:17

Another Day of Mothering

Her: I was sitting here weeding through a mound of e-mails when one of my daughters leaned over, hugged me and said, “Mom, thank you for letting me sleep in today.” She then left my room to get ready for the day. When she was in the hall she noticed her 3 year old sister playing with the water in the bathroom sink. She gently reminded her that water is expensive and we must not play in it. She even added, “I know it’s disappointing but it is not a good game.” My heart melted. I felt tears creeping up into my eyes.

You see yesterday did not go as well. My beautiful princess who I love dearly is also stubborn. Not sorta kinda stubborn, more like you will NEVER break me kinda stubborn. I worry. I worry that she is the one that will leave me and never return. I worry that she does not see the love I have for her. That she doesn’t feel accepted. That I don’t really know her heart. I yearn for her but she does not let me in. Being a mom is painful. The rejection can be overwhelming. But I will not give up. God gave her to me. I will fight for her. I will fight for a relationship with her. I will fight for her soul.  

I talk to her. I tell her that I adore her. I tell her that God loves her and that is most valuable.

But, most importantly I pray. I pray that I would be the mom that she needs. I pray that God would fill her and make her whole. I pray that she would receive his love. And then I surrender. I know God has her in his amazing hands and I need to follow his lead.

Today I saw her heart soften a bit. And I can see God working. I know His time is perfect. His love is perfect. His plan is perfect. Today I will walk in that truth.

Parenting: Part II - Grace

Her:  I have been overwhelmed trying to write this blog.  The topic of grace is something that I have been learning and growing in for the past few years and I still can’t say that I have completely wrapped my head around the concept.  But, I will share what God has taught me so far. 

Years ago I let go of the world to walk with the Lord.  I let go of being good enough, wise enough, together enough in the world’s eyes.  To some I am still a messy flake to others a neurotic control freak.  You can’t please everyone- it’s too much effort and completely exhausting.

Unfortunately, I transferred my effort into making God happy.  My goal was to be good enough, wise enough and together enough for God. Perfect mom, perfect wife, perfect disciple.  What a complete waste of my efforts because it turns out I am already enough!  I am God’s child and he loves me unconditionally.  I don’t have to do or be anything. He already died on the cross and has given me his grace.

I read this scripture today that solidified this truth to me.   I’ve heard it a million times but it completed rocked my world:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
    and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
    and he will make straight your paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6

So, I just have to love him and trust him and he’s got the rest handled.  WOW! And this next scripture blew me away even more:

“However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me - the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.”

Acts 20:24

We get to rest in the Lord Jesus and tell others the good news.  Well, I am in! No need to try and be perfect anymore.  YAY!

How, you may ask, does this apply to your parenting? Here is an excerpt from an amazing book I am reading called Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus by Elyse Fitzpatrick & Jessica Thompson. It sums up this topic perfectly:

  

“This is faith. In the same way that you trust in him [God] and not in yourself for your salvation, you can trust in him for the salvation of your children.  You can give yourself grace: he’s in control, he is loving, his plan is best.  And you can give your children grace, too.  Parenting with grace isn’t another set of rules for you to follow.  It’s a story that you’re to rejoice in.  Share the story with your children.  Show them the Savior.  Show them Jesus. Dazzle them with his love.”

We are nothing without him.  He is everything to us. Let’s make sure that we don’t just receive God’s amazing grace in our lives, but we also pass that grace on to our precious little kiddos. 

Until next time rest on this scripture:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

2 Corinthians 12:9

Good Morning and Good Night!

Her: Troy and I set a goal of blogging three times a week.   Lately, life has gotten in the way of documenting life so we resolved to wake up this morning at 6:30 a.m. to produce something creative and exciting for all of you.   Last night after settling into bed about 11:00 p.m., I heard my first feverish kiddo crying in her room.   I got up, gave her medicine and a glass of chocolate milk, then I tucked her in and headed back to bed.   5:00 a.m. rolled around and the next child wandered feverishly into our bed.  5:25 a.m. - she throws up in our bed.   5:30 a.m. - next child woke up from the sound of the bath delirious and needing encouragement to get back to sleep.   5:45 a.m.  - coffee brewing, oatmeal cooking and day begins.  6:25 a.m. – Baby drinks off feverish sister’s sippy cup.  7:30 a.m. - biggest sister gives baby sister a bite off her spoon.   I think you can see where the rest of our week is going!

Just when we were feeling too busy we got a sick kiddo curve ball.  So I figured today I would share a scripture that has been rattling around in my brain all week:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.   
2 Corinthians 12:9

Today I feel weak and overwhelmed.  But I am letting that all go. This day will be barren of checklist items completed but I will rest in the Lord. So good morning and good night. 

Parenting: Part 1

Her: When our oldest child was a baby she was perfect, except that we had to change her diaper, seriously perfect! She was on a schedule, she slept through the night at two weeks (other than illness or teething), did great in restaurants, traveled well, didn't spit up, you name it. We were parenting pros! Or so we thought. We couldn't wait to have another baby so we got pregnant again when our oldest was 16 months. We were thrilled! And then it happened. Our oldest started this weird throwing a tantrum thing. You know that thing naughty children do. But I didn't have a naughty child. I had a good child because I was a good parent. And if she WAS a naughty child then, dare I say it, I was a bad parent. Uh, oh! This could be a problem.

So I went on a journey to fix this problem. Bad child = bad parent and good child = good parent so I must make my child good. And so I bribed, I cried, I pleaded, I begged, I screamed, and I yelled. But nothing made her good. Oh, and I failed to mention that we had our 2nd child and she had tummy trouble so she cried most of the first 8 months of her life. No schedule for her. It was brutal.

So in our house we had an angry two year old, an angry baby and definitely an angry mommy. Welcome home hubby! Desperate for answers we sought counsel from family, friends, elders, pastors, etc. Out of that came parenting lesson number 1: Parenting starts with you. It starts with your relationship with God. You will never be the parent you want to be without fixing your own sin. Your own sin stands in the way of your relationship with your children, how you guide them and what example you set for them.

What does this look like? If you yell at your kids they will meet you toe to toe. If you are inconsistent they will sniff you out in a heartbeat and pounce. If you're a complainer they will complain. If you are negative they will be negative. They are a reflection of you good or bad. Children are little beautiful beings desperate for protection, love, correction when needed, and direction. They are God's gift to you. Parent them accordingly.