Her: I was sitting here weeding through a mound
of e-mails when one of my daughters leaned over, hugged me and said, “Mom,
thank you for letting me sleep in today.” She then left my room to get ready for the day. When she was in the hall she noticed her 3
year old sister playing with the water in the bathroom sink. She gently reminded her that water is
expensive and we must not play in it. She even added, “I know it’s disappointing
but it is not a good game.” My heart
melted. I felt tears creeping up into my
eyes.
You see yesterday
did not go as well. My beautiful
princess who I love dearly is also stubborn. Not sorta kinda stubborn, more
like you will NEVER break me kinda stubborn. I worry. I worry that she is the one that will leave me and never
return. I worry that she does not see
the love I have for her. That she doesn’t
feel accepted. That I don’t really know
her heart. I yearn for her but she does not let me in. Being a mom is painful.
The rejection can be overwhelming. But I
will not give up. God gave her to
me. I will fight for her. I will fight
for a relationship with her. I will
fight for her soul.
I talk to
her. I tell her that I adore her. I tell
her that God loves her and that is most valuable.
But, most
importantly I pray. I pray that I would
be the mom that she needs. I pray that
God would fill her and make her whole. I pray that she would receive his
love. And then I surrender. I know God has her in his amazing hands and I
need to follow his lead.
Today I saw her
heart soften a bit. And I can see God
working. I know His time is perfect. His
love is perfect. His plan is perfect. Today I will walk in that truth.
Thank you for sharing. I have one that I am in the same boat with! It is very difficult and heartbreaking. I don't want that for any of us but I am glad to see I am not alone in this struggle. I will be praying for you and your Princess.
ReplyDeleteSara - Thanks for your comment. I will being pray for you too! With God we can figure out this whole parenting thing!
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