Why Homeschool?

Her: Homeschooling was NEVER something I thought I would be doing.  Why keep your kids at home when you can send them off to be educated elsewhere while I am at the gym and Starbucks?  Troy and I lived in Texas before our kids were school age and many of my friends there homeschooled.  I thought they were nuts and probably told them so (Sorry about that ladies!).   As the time to put my eldest in school approached, putting her in school became impossible.  We were moving around a lot at the time and I didn’t have a definite school district to put her in.  Besides, Troy and I always went to private school so it was a big move for us to even consider public school.  There was no way we could afford private school so homeschooling it was.  “Just one year, I can survive just one year.” Five years later we are still homeschooling. 

I am truly grateful that I was forced into the idea.  Otherwise, I never would have given it a chance. Now, I wouldn’t have it any other way.  And, here’s why it has blessed our family:

1)    Learning is much more of a fluid process than I realized it was.  There have been so many times over the years that I have introduced a concept: reading, math, etc. that the kiddos were not ready for.  They became confused and frustrated.  So I put that concept on the shelf for a few months then reintroduced it.  This time it was a breeze.  They got it instantly because their brains were ready. 

2)   The kids have no one to measure their intelligence with.  They have no idea if they are behind or ahead of their classmates.  They get to learn without the insecurity of comparison. 

3)   They have so much more time in their day.  They don’t have to get up early and rush out the door.  They have enough time to do school, chores and play endlessly.  They can escape outside and make a huge fort for 3 hours in the afternoon instead of doing homework. 

4)   Our family schedule is not controlled by the school schedule.  We can take off for vacation in the middle of the year.  We can stay out late on a weekday.  We can sleep in when needed.  We can school in the evening or on the weekend if it works better. 

5)   Because the kids are home more, I can incorporate learning life skills such as cooking, cleaning and organization that we would otherwise not have time for.

6)   And, my favorite, we can incorporate God into each and every part of our day.  I get to instruct them on much more valuable things than just math and reading.  We get to discuss their attitudes about their schoolwork, their siblings, and me while learning.  If they were in school I would miss out on these opportunities or at least have fewer of them.

You may consider all of this sheltering and I understand where you are coming from.  I agree children need to be socialized.  The real world is a place full of competition and mean people that they need to be ready for and they need to learn how to make choices and traverse the ins and outs of life successfully. But, why throw them into life before they have the tools to cope with it?  You wouldn’t hire an employee and then throw them into the position without training.  You would specifically guide and prepare them and would not send them out until you were sure they would be successful.  Of course they will still make mistakes and will continue to learn but at least they’ll be equipped with the basic tools. Should we shelter them? No.  Should we prepare them? Yes! 

Ok, off my soapbox!  Is homeschooling for everyone?  Definitely not.  But, it has been absolutely fabulous for our family and I would recommend it to everyone!

Why Her?

Some people obsess about finding “the one”, others talk about destiny (more on this in another entry); for me, I can do nothing but express how appreciative I am that God allowed our paths to cross… over and over again. Allison and I first met (not sure that we actually met but I knew who she was and I’m certain she knew of me) in eighth grade. At that time, had someone told me that I would one day marry the skinny girl with braces and long curly hair I would have began a ten point argument for why they belonged in an asylum. I say this only because we didn’t seem to have a single thing in common, at least on the surface. Our paths never crossed- we had no classes together or friends in common.

During our freshman year of high school this changed. We landed in an Honors English class together and that class teamed us up with a couple others for a group project. All seemed to be going well until the day of the presentation when I refused to wear her dad’s twenty year old 70’s bell-bottoms and flowered shirt for a reenactment of Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, hippy style. My logic- we had a substitute that day and the costume would be a waste of my effort. Her logic- who am I kidding? no logic, just plain, old, unadulterated disdain. She hated me for my stubbornness.

Fast-forward two years. We’re both juniors and again find ourselves in the same Honors English class together and, once again, we’re partners for a group project. This time the groups were made up of two. All I can think about is how livid she had been the year before and how I’m now “stuck” with her for the next several weeks. For these several weeks our paths merged and almost became one. We were forced to sit together in class to work on the project. We talked in the halls after class- we had four other classes together too. We exchanged phone numbers so we could coordinate the various tasks that the project required. 

In all this communication a friendship began to form, until, the night before the project was due, we had our last run through of things over the phone and said good-bye. Not more than two minutes went by when I realized that I missed her voice. I called her back and asked her, “What are you doing tonight?” Her response, “Something with you.”

What had started as an improbable relationship developed into impossible before the two of us became inseparable. Before long, I counted her my best friend and it was clear at that point that I could not let her get away. Come to find out we had so much more in common than we had ever imagined and thank God, He allowed our paths to cross… again and again. In July of 2000 I chose her to be my wife and I continue to choose her every day. What God knew would be the perfect gift for me, a partner to stand by my side and journey through life with, took this dumb bloke almost four years to realize.

The English project- we aced it… and many, many other tasks that we’ve teamed on over the past 15 years.

Why Him?

Her: Why did I pick Troy?  Well look at him, ladies!  No, I picked him for a few more reasons than he was the captain of the football team . . . ok, a lot more.   

 When I met Troy I was lost.  Only sixteen at the time, I didn’t know who I was or really where I was going.  I was like a kite blowing in the wind not knowing which direction would bring me the joy I was looking for.  I made choices previously that failed miserably and swore off boys completely.  But Troy was different.  He was a rock.  He didn’t sway in the wind.  He didn’t even move at all.  He knew who he was and where he was going, not to be led away by anyone or anything.  I flew while he anchored me and we became best friends. 

At twenty-one, I had the joy of marrying this amazing man and getting a partner for life.  Over the years we’ve had our ups and downs.  My best friend has let me down and broken my heart on more than one occasion but he is still the rock I was once drawn to.  I have often wished I could move that rock just an inch or so one direction or another to serve my purposes.  Those attempts are rarely successful.  But, then a crisis rolls in and I run straight back to that rock I once tried to move. And, there he is, in the same place he’s been for over sixteen years – right by my side. 

 

Why Five?

Her:  Out anywhere with five little ducklings in tow, comments are inevitable. We've heard them all . . . from you are so blessed to I'm sorry . . . the comments are endless. Oh yes, and my favorite, "Are you done having kids, yet?" This comment coming from friends and family is understandable, but, from a complete stranger at a grocery store and laced with judgment, a bit awkward to say the least. I never really have anything clever to say. The truth is we would consider it. We are tired (perpetually) and it's hard (constantly) but we love it. Maybe we will birth more, or adopt, or foster but the fact is we would love to have children in the Tucker house for a long time. Sometimes I get all smiley when I think of no more diapers, or sleeping through the night, or even a moment to myself. But, I know this is our mission and I wouldn't have it any other way. They are precious, amazing gifts. Each one different, complex and intriguing. Their joy is my joy, their sadness is my sadness, their love is priceless.

The other day I was trying to do a good mommy thing by making everyone hot chocolate. First the three year old spilled ALL over the carpet; then, the one year old followed suit by pulling someone else's cup over her head (not hot, by the way, just messy). I silently cleaned up the mess while trying not to let my irritation show and then it happened. I was putting a new outfit on the littlest one and she lifted her chubby leg to help me for the first time. Ah, adorable. My frustration melted away and joy returned. We have given up so much to have this many children- money, time, and here and there our sanity, but, it is nothing compared to what we've gained.

Side note: When most people talk about their kids they refer to them by name but with 5 it gets a little tricky. Without fail, mid-story, we get interrupted with the question, "now which one is that?" So Troy started numbering them by birth order and only referring to them by name to our close friends. We will carry on the tradition in our blog. Here is a quick summary of each of them before labeling begins:

Our Oldest - Raegan, age 9: Feisty and sensitive all wrapped into one, thoughtful and imaginative, if you want someone to listen and care she's your girl

Our 2nd - Kamryn, age 7: High energy, direct and confident, captivating and capable, if you want someone to get things done she's your girl






 

Our 3rd - Ashlyn, age 6: Silly and smart as a whip, cheerful, unpredictable - always surprising us, if you want to giggle she's your girl

Our 4th - Brooklyn, age 3: Complete trouble with a smile that gets her out of trouble, one spunky firecracker, if you want a buddy she's your girl

Our Youngest - Maryn, age 1: Mellow, calm and happy, daring but content, if you want to snuggle she's your girl

Why Blog?

Him:  So we're now part of the blogging world and, I must say, excited to be here! As many of you know we were high school sweethearts- sickening, I know- and now have five beautiful daughters who we share our hearts with. Five Girls, you say? Yes, five, all girls, no boys, and no, we're not trying for a boy. We've been fielding these and many more questions for years now that range from, "how do you do it?" to "are you crazy?"

Why Balance?

Her:  We came up with the name, The Balancing Act, because, to us, that's what life is. There is no way to do life perfectly. It's impossible. We know. We've tried it! Troy and I are both perfectionists in our own ways. We can be hard on ourselves, hard on each other, and hard on everyone else. Our plan for life: Get married, finish college, have kids, be successful, get rich and do everything perfectly. Oh, and in that sentence successful and rich are synonymous. Anyone with me?